If you don't have anything nice to say...

I'm always amazed at the lack of tact or outright rudeness of people. People that don't walk in restraint or bridle their tongue are in abundance. You don't have to go far to hear random gossip, criticism, or persons minding others' business.

I have been pondering this for awhile. I was inspired by a few posts to go ahead & share my thoughts. These ladies have beautiful, vintage styles & have been subject to small-minded people.

This Old Life
Rueby Retro

I happily live in a small, rural area. Small town rural has it's share of small-minded people, but they can truly be found anywhere. Your station in life does not exclude you from them, nor does it dictate whether you could be one of them.

I have my own, unique sense of style. I choose to wear what pleases me. My intention is to dress in a manner that is modest. I don't want to be defined by what I wear, but I also prefer not to be a trend junkie or wear cookie-cutter "Mom" outfits.

My style definitely steers toward retro or vintage. Although my total look wouldn't be considered vintage, I'm definitely drawn to older pieces. I adore vintage jewelry, shoes and skirts. My favorite decade style-wise would be the 50s.

Now, dressing outside the box is always a set-up for criticism. I think I must always examine the motive of my heart. Am I dressing to please others? (Now, it's a good thing to dress to please your spouse, but I'm single.) Am I dressing to rebel by shocking others? Am I dressing to attract attention, good or bad? Am I dressing to convey a certain emotion? Or are my clothes an extension of my creativity? Am I well groomed and presentable?

If I choose to wear something frothy or girly, I like to balance it with edgier stuff. Maybe style my hair or accessories with a little more bite. I'm not about being matchy-matchy. Likewise, if my apparel veers to the masculine, I like to soften it with feminine accents.

I do most of the clothes shopping for my family. My boys don't balk at my choices. I have acquired vintage pieces for Colt & he has enjoyed wearing them.

Now, our biggest critics are people with the least amount of style, those who have a uniform of jeans or cargos & a t-shirt. They believe if their t-shirt is a certain brand, it constitutes flair. Now, if that is your style & what you enjoy wearing, embrace it, but don't scoff at others. These people tend to be the most vocal & harshest of faultfinders.

Some comments said directly to me, not overheard:

"Are those bowling shoes?"
"Are you finished with your hair?"
"Are you gonna wear that?"
"Don't those earrings bug you?"
"Is that supposed to match?"

Another thing I've been told repeatedly regarding trends..."If you wore it the 1st time, you shouldn't wear it the 2nd time." Now, I choose not to agree. You can dress your age & not succumb to trend overload. You can choose silhouettes, colors, and cuts that look good on you regardless of "fashion rules." There is balance here, you shouldn't just put stuff together willy nilly, but don't let fear of what others might say dictate your choices. I will forever wear my Chuck Taylors, you can like it or not.

You don't have to like or appreciate everyone else's sense of style or clothing choices. You should keep your negative comments to yourself. I'll retain my thoughts on your Mom jeans & you contain your thoughts on my Converse footwear. Anything that tears someone down should be off limits. The amazing thing to me is that people feel the need to voice their negative opinions without regard to other's feelings. Remember what your Grandma used to say? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say ANYTHING.

Tact is an absolutely, beautiful thing. If you don't have it, I suggest you get some.