A rose by any other name...

The boys and I often use aliases. Don't worry. We are not criminals, secret agents, kidnap victims, or protected witnesses. Sometimes we like to make up names as a game, just for the fun of it. Other times, the names are used to go along with the adventure we happen to be on at the time. Example: If we are playing Knights, we would need appropriate, knight names. A good knight name might be Sir Percival the Lionhearted.

I shall start with the real deal. Do you like your given name? I think most people don't, but would you change it if you could? Mine is Julinda, too long & nobody ever gets it right. "Is your Daddy named 'Joe' & your Mom named 'Linda'?" No, & my name is not Jo Linda. It's Julinda, pronounced like Melinda. Although some would argue it is pronounced Jew-linda. I also think Julinda is misspelled, but I wouldn't change it. Maybe I should go by my middle name, Ann.

Colten Tanner was actually Zachary Garrett through my entire pregnancy, but it didn't fit after he was born. Sadly, he remained nameless for 4 days. Colten is pronounced with a short e at the end. It is not Colton. He is mistakenly Colton to most people. My Grandpa called him Tanner Bananner. My Great Aunt says Colt-lyn. The name Riley was also considered for Colt.

Riley Cade was nameless for a few days too. He would have been Reese if he were a girl. Most people wonder why his middle name is Kay. I've also been asked what the K. stands for. Rye was very close to being a Nicholas. My aunt wanted me to name him after the kitten in Colt's favorite book when he was little, "No, No, Nicky".

Nicknames
Mom: Mama Big Booty, Aunt Shalinda, Ju (Someone once asked me if I was offended by being called Jew), Jewels (mostly in high school), Sissy (I used to be Sissy to everyone. I didn't lose this one until after I started school.), I was Pumpkin to my Dad.
Colt: TaTa or ToTo (Colten mispronounced by toddler-aged Madison), CoCo, Hobbitt Feet, My Oldest Child, First Born, Bubba, & Big Bullfrog Bulldog (so named because of his irritating antics while on my bed)
Rye: Y-Tade, Whitey, Wiley, My Youngest, & Little Bullfrog Bulldog (same as Colt)
I call each of them "Sweets".

Spanish Names
Mom: Blanca
Colt: Alejandro
Rye: Tito
We made up Spanish names because Colt is studying Spanish. Although, Rye wants to legally change his name to Tito.

Hobbitt Names
Mom: Ruby Grubb of Little Delving
Colt: Popo Grubb of Little Delving
Rye: Samwise Loamsdown
These names were generated for us. We often call Colt, Popo Grubb.

HipHop Names
Mom: DJ 'Nilla Chilla
Colt: Cheese Masta Funk
Rye: 'Lil Biggie
Again, Colt's gets used often. We're SO gangsta, dawg.

Star Wars Names
Mom: Chazrah (a Jedi Wookie)
Colt: Netloc (a Jedi Human)
Rye: Clox (a mercenary Trandoshan)
We use these playing a Star Wars role playing game. Colt's name is his name backwards.

Pirate Names
Mom: Almost Blind Blythe or Cap'n Bella Deadweight
Colt: Dashing Pike the Pink or Parrotless Pete
Rye: Muck Mutiny or Shark Tooth Stumpy
Everybody wants to be a pirate. We really like the Pirates of the Carribbean movies. Muppet Treasure Island is an absolute favorite. Arrrr, if ye have any small words about it, ye be walkin' the plank, ye bilge rat.

Indian Names
Mom: Sitting Bird
Colt: Quiet Eagle Watching
Rye: Climbing Lizard
Rye named me because I like to sit at the computer. These are just for fun, although I am one-quarter Indian. I know, my dark skin is a give away. My earthly tribe is the Grand River Band of Ottawa Indians. A little Ottawa History. Ottawa Indians refer to themselves as "Neshnabeck" (nishnaabeg) which means "original people". I would like to find the translation for "God's people".

Eternal Names
Our names written in the Lamb's Book of Life.

Rehash

This is a story I told last summer. I'm using it as a filler, so I don't have to write. Outside work is calling me. I still enjoy this story. I hope you do as well.

WARNING: Traumatizing Story

This morning, my brother (Stevie) comes to my house & tells me that I need to come with him. There is a dog that has been ran over on the highway & he is afraid that it is our dog, Coco. So, the boys are asking me questions & I tell them we will talk about it when I get back. Stevie & I drive up to the highway. I can see the dog laying on the other side of the highway. I can see it's a chocolate lab, like our Coco, but I'm still hoping that it's not her. Sadly, it is Coco. There is blood pooled around her head & she is already stiff. My brother loads her in the pickup.

When we get back to the house, I tell Stevie where I want to bury her. We take her to the back of my house near a pond. So, it's time to face Colten & Riley. I knew Colt would take it harder than Rye, because Coco was always "his" dog. We affectionately called her "our fat lard". I've held up pretty good so far, but as I go to tell the boys, the tears start flowing.

The boys are stone-faced until after Uncle Stevie leaves & then as I predicted, Colt breaks down. We hug & cry. I tell Colt to remember that dogs don't have souls, so we don't have to worry about how she is now. She was a dear pet to us while she was here. Riley, in true form, reminds us that Coco was getting old anyway. Didn't we remember she was getting gray hairs? (Rye is always good for comic relief! He offered to shoot a friend's cat before when he heard her complain about the cat.)

Now, Riley goes out to inspect Coco's body while Colt & I are getting ready to go bury her. Colt is pretty emotional, so I tell him if he doesn't want to help me dig Coco's grave, that it's okay. He assures me that he'll be alright.

We start digging the ground near our back fence. Let me tell ya, it was VERY hard. I'm thinkin' there is NO way we are gonna be able to do this! We move over just about a foot & thankfully the ground was a bit softer. It was still HARD WORK!!! It's going to take awhile!


I have to go inside to get a bandana to tie my hair back. While I'm inside, Colten comes running in hollering - "MOM! MOM! COCO ISN'T DEAD!" Ok...I'm freakin' out. I'm thinking....I'm gonna have to shoot my own dog in the head....then I remember... she was stiff as a board, there is no way she was still alive!!

I finally say...."do what?" Colt is screaming..."Come outside, Mom. She's here...she's alive!!!" I go outside & sure enough, there is Coco right outside wagging her tail & licking Colten on the face while he is hugging & petting her. So, now the tears come again...maybe even harder because Colt is so relieved that Coco isn't dead! This is a joyful reunion & Coco is just as enthusiastic as Colt. Rye says, "Do you think this is Coco's ghost?!"


Ok....now....what about the dead dog? Yes, now the story gets interesting.

Colten & I can both say now....after the fact....that her face didn't look quite right, but we both thought it was distorted from getting hit & the stiffness. Wonderful mistake we've made.

I have someone else's dead, chocolate lab in my backyard! What the heck do I do now?! I call my Mom & brother. Stevie & my cousin, Chris, tell me to take it back up to the highway. Are you kiddin' me?! Can you imagine what people are going to think of me unloading a dead dog on the side of the highway? Of course, that's out of the question.


But, what can I do? Colt said..."Mom, if it was Coco & we didn't know she died, wouldn't you want someone to let us know?" Well sure, but I don't even know who this dog belongs to!! I didn't want to go ahead & bury the dog & then the owner have a sentinmental wish to have their beloved pet buried under their apple tree...ya know what I'm saying'?!!

So I call a neighbor to see if he knows whose dog it is. Thankfully, he did. The owner (a lady) had already called crying & asking if they would "get rid of the dog". He said they couldn't figure out what happened to it!! I told him that I would go ahead & bury her dog.


Well, our entire morning was used burying someone else's dog! Digging a grave is NOT easy, let me tell ya!!! We worked our butts off! All the time, "our fat lard" was laying beside us sunning herself.

We are wore out tired & I'm thinking I'll be sore in the morning. Colt said, "Mom, I hope Coco doesn't die again anytime soon."

Picture Charades #10

Colt & I watched this movie last night. We really enjoyed it. 3 words

How Spongebob Works

Spongebob loves karate. He loves to play with his friends. He loves to go jellyfishin'. His favorite song is (singing) "It's the BEEEST day EEEVER!" And if he gets fired, he starts crying. But, he loves his best friend, Gary.

As told by Rye, typed by Mom

It's NOT Okay...Okay?!

I need to write this. As the weather warms and people start removing their scarves, turtlenecks, & stockings, I anticipate the onslaught of visible undergarments & body parts. I know this is a great thing to many people, but not to me.

Let me start by saying that I AM a reformed, bikini wearer. My immodest apparel would challenge the most glamorous street-walkers I've seen. Yes, it took renewed thinking, forgiveness, & mercy. I am thankful.

Let's just start with bathing suits. Most are no more than fancy underwear. Some are quite a bit less. A day at the beach is like a day at Kentucky Fried Chicken, lots of breasts & thighs. I KNOW this is NOT in agreement with wordly thinking. So, if you like this, obviously we are not of the same mind. I could probably just turn my head, but I can't stand for my children to be visually assaulted by this. Leave your underwear under your clothes & put on something that properly covers you!

Next, visible undergarments are NEVER okay. I don't care who's doing it, famous or not. I heard low-slung jeans were out & waistbands were rising again. I've yet to see it. I don't want to see any plumber's crack. This goes for thong undies too. I don't care how cute or stylish they are. This applies to the guys too. Your boxers belong UNDER your jeans. Pull up your pants!!!

Can I see your bra in any way? See through shirts? Yuck. Spaghetti straps or thin tank tops were not meant for the basic bra. Buy the tanks with adequate, built-in bras or invest in a good, strapless model. Better yet, look for more substantial tops. If I can see your bra straps...tacky, tacky, tacky.

I only have one thing to say about those daring, braless gals or rugged, commando guys...Eww. So, moving on.

Are your shorts or skirts too short? Can you bend over without mooning the world? I love to see the cheeks of your beautiful smile, not so much on the other end. If your skirt looks more like a belt, this applies to you. If the inseam of your shorts is the same as that famous, Hazzard County female, this applies to you also.

Bare midriffs are a no-no. I don't care how toned your abs are. If you raise your hands to cheer for those OU Sooners & we see your tummy, you need a longer top. Speaking of the Sooners, don't even get me started on cheerleading outfits. I know this is really preposterous to many, but the outfits of the Dallas Cowgals are primed & ready for the penthouse.

Yes, our culture feeds this. Sex sells & America is buying. Well, I'm saving my money & protecting my modesty. Kudos to all of you who do!

I know this opens me up to ridicule because it goes against conventional thinking. I'm not a prude. Well, maybe I am. Hang on, I just looked it up. "Prude"-a person who is excessively proper or modest in speech, conduct, dress, etc. Excessiveness is never proper, but balance is the key in anything.

Please forgive any fashion faux-pas of mine & I will bear with you too. And now, I will step down from my soap box. I said what I came to say.

Picture Charades #9

Category: Celebrity

2 Words

Picture Charades #8

Category: Movie

3 Words